Marriage a.k.a Living with Your Best Friend. Part Two

This one will not be as sweet and cute as Part One. This one will actually refer to the title. Iryna, don’t you think marriage is sweet? No, I don’t. Marriage is exciting. It is also complicated and sophisticated, but not sweet. Sweet is for teenagers who have their first kiss. Marriage is for adults who are prepared to put their love at risk. Bear with me and Lina.

A friend of mine once told me relationship should be easy, otherwise there was no point starting it. My guess is he never knew what true love was. If you think that your relationship with a certain someone is “easy”, then you probably don’t care that much. This is where the part “Living with Your Best Friend” comes in.

 

I met with my girl-friend before moving to Canada. She herself had been living abroad for some time already. She asked if I was anxious. I said yes, of course, but not too much because I have Lina. She then said that our friendship had by far the most difficult task to face – living together.

Nothing too serious – no casualties, we both survived without killing each other. But now, I do agree – living together is a challenge. Remember all that I wrote about marriage up there? Well, this is me living with Lina. We are a married couple deeply in love with each other with recurrent outbursts of anger and hatred.

 

Lina likes to sleep. Not that she sleeps till noon, but that when she wakes up on a weekday she is always rather sleepy and moves slowly. It sometimes irritates Iryna.

She is also quite passive when it comes to making decisions. Even as simple as “what are we doing this weekend?”.


Lina will never tell you she doesn’t like what you are doing. She will just make a poker face. She won’t tell you that you’ve gained weight, for example, even if you ask her. She is too polite, too nice, and it is too much sometimes and it drives Iryna crazy.

It’s hard to offend Lina, but if you do, you are but dead. She is also rarely saying sorry even if it’s her fault. She just finds it hard, don’t know why.
Now there is Iryna. Iryna likes to be bossy and tell people what to do. She also likes to play a drama queen from time to time, which means she can cry, raise her voice, shut the door and even throw something against the wall (but that’s like waaay too serious). Lina doesn’t get it – why so many emotions, why so many unnecessary actions and words?


Iryna is easily offended, yet forgets about the insults in no time.  She is also pretty straightforward and sarcastic, so if she is really pissed off with you, you’d better lie in hiding till the storm is over. Poor Lina knows that.

 

Iryna and Lina have been friends for almost a decade now. They have been living together for six months. And never in these ten years have they loved and hated each other more than in these six months.

Yes, Iryna hates it when Lina is slow and passive. But only Lina can calm down Iryna when she’s being a drama queen. Only she can look beyond her sarcasm and aggressiveness to heal her wounded soul.

Yes, Lina hates it when Iryna is overreacting and easily irritated. But only Iryna can push Lina towards reaching her goals, going beyond her limits and forgetting that she is shy and timid.

 


And this is how their marriage works. They support and respect, then argue and hate, then love and hug. Then laugh. Oh, how much they laugh.
Their relationship is not easy. It must be true love.

 

Sincerely,

Iryna Zheliasko

#UkrainianInToronto 

 

 

 

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