It was destined to be… unless you don’t believe it

It was my last year in the university and we were reading Somerset Maugham’s “The Painted Veil” in one of the classes. Now I don’t remember why we started that conversation. Probably something about Kitty’s complicated relationships with men and consequences of these relationships. But what I do remember is just how passionate and exciting that debate was. We never reached one single conclusion, just because with these things you can never know for sure. We talked about DESTINY.

Fatum. Ancient Greeks believed there were gods who defined a human’s life path as he was born. Everything was in their hands, and a person’s actions or wishes couldn’t make any difference (well, maybe if a person was born in Ukraine, he might have bribed one of the gods 🙄😝, but that’s a different story).




We don’t live in times of Ancient Greece anymore, but there are still many people who believe that all their  life is predetermined from “up above”. Or maybe from “down below” for some people, I’m not exactly sure how it works 🤷🏻‍♀️


Let’s take me for example.

I was born with a tiny lop-eared problem. I had some hard times with that, but it made me realize appearance is worth little. So I focused on self-development, and now I believe I have both – inside and outside. Who knows whether I would still think the same if I was born “normal”? Destiny, no less.

In Grade 9 my close friend switched classes, and we had lots of pointless arguments because of that. I didn’t want to let her go, because I get used to people a lot. I thought, “oh, no, this is the end, I’m gonna be lonely forever” (yes, I know 🤦🏻‍♀️ ). That’s when I became closer with Lina, and now I can’t imagine my life without my crazy sister. Destiny, no less.




Sometimes destiny works in a funny way. Like when you sit next to a boy at English exam and never assume to see him again, but a year later you recognize him on a subway platform in the different part of the planet. Yes, true story (NOT a love one though, shh!). Of course your best friend goes mental like “omg, that’s surreal, that’s impossible, that’s like in movies”. I guess so. Destiny, no less. But in another way. Long story short, I’ll just say this boy made me realize what I really want in life (or maybe what I don’t want?). And I thank him for that.


Oh, one more, one more.  It was April 16, 2017. Easter. After going to church, Lina and I spent all day walking around Toronto with our Belgian friends. We were really tired by the end of the day, but when we reached for a campus door  to shorten our way to the residence, it was locked. And all other doors were locked as well. Which meant we had to make a huge circle around the campus to get into the residence. But before doing that, Lina stopped to tie up her shoe lace. This took her about a minute, but while she was doing that a security worker noticed us by the doors and let us in. Destiny, no less!! 😱




From what I’ve understood so far, you never know when it is “a destiny”. You always figure it out later, after the destiny happens, reflecting on the past events.

It never happens like they show us in the movies: you get an opportunity to do something or you meet a person or you lose a job or you fight with your friend or you are born lop-eared, and suddenly you know IT’S A DESTINY FOR SURE OH MY GOD I CAN FEEL IT. No, you can’t. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be life. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be so shitty and so damn exciting.


P.S. After reading this post, you still can’t figure out if I believe in fate or not? No worries. I can’t figure it out myself, so it’s fine. All I know is I’ll never wait for a destiny to come. I’ll make destiny happen. You?



See ya, my curious friends 👋🏽

Iryna Zheliasko


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